even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize