Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
