Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
