Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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