it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
