drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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