I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
