Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
