i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
