Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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