FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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