don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i drank out of a bidet.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize