Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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