wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
