D3 body, D1 cock
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
