just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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