I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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