What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
