Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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