what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize