don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
