and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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