the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
