Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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