My hand turned me down
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
