just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
