She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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