and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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