There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
