So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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