Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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