Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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