i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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