I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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