We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize