Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
