I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
