We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
