I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
