I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
