He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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