Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
