I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
