Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
