Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
