that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
