The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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