Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
