ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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