She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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