I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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