I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
May the power of my ass compel you!!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize