bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
