I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
