Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
