Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
