It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
