She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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