Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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