Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
