Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
