its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Drake has all the answers
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize